I think one of the most important things about growing up-or raising children.-lets go with raising children. Is knowing that you're raising a young lady or young man, rather than a child. I think that helps to instill a bit of confidence in a child. And sometimes I find that confidence lacking in me.
More and more lately I find myself staring in the mirror and asking myself who am I really, and what is it that I'm meant to do with my life. And more and more, I find myself thinking that I am a lost child in this really big world, who has not idea where to go. So, I seek comfort rather than seek confidence.
I've started taking risks, started a grown up job, but still don't feel very grown up. It doesn't help that I've gained 20 lbs since I moved here and no longer fit into any of my work clothes. Yes, as shallow as it may sound, clothes for me instills confidence. I love clothes, because it's like playing dress up, what you're wearing gets to say who you are that day.
So, I think now that I'm in the habit of making my bed, and am going to school and meeting a few of my new years resolutions, it's time to start something new. I think I shall start treating myself to a pedicure and manicure once a month. First step to being a lady, is looking like a lady. I'll work on acting like a lady as soon as I figure out what one is supposed to act like.
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When you find that out, will you please tell me? Because everyday I wake up hoping to look in the mirror and see a grown up. I still see myself as the 17 year old not so sure of herself and I'm always hoping that that will go away...maybe it never does? I certainly hope when I'm 50 I don't still feel that way!!
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