Let Married Men Be

I love my soccer group, I really do, but some girls need to watch it, because they're out to cause trouble. Since moving to New York, I've joined a meet-up soccer group that I really enjoy. The atmosphere is pretty laid back, and everyone is pretty friendly. Friendly, not flirty, which is where some people need to learn the difference.

Here's the thing about the guys that we play with. The vast majority of them are very attractive, true gentlemen, oh and married or in very serious relationships. They are really nice guys who go out of their way to make everyone feel included, and keep us laughing when they can tell we're having a bad day, or tell us the truth when we're having an off day. It's like a family away from family, and it's really nice. But then there are the girls who mistake this friendliness for something else, or maybe they just feed off male attention, I don't know. But it's really annoying when the group is out together and they and their friends insist on putting some of these guys in an awkward situation.

Like, the other night, one girl in particular, insisted on getting too close to one of these guys. He would step away, and she would lean in closer. He would then move away and unwrap her hands from around his neck, and she would just put them back around him and lean closer. Eventually one of the guys or other girls would walk over and "save" him from this awkward situation, and he would turn around and say thanks to his rescuer, but it didn't stop the girl and her friend from moving on to her next target--usually another married man on the team. Where the same scenario occurred.

The guys were pretty classy about the way they handled the situation, but the point is that they shouldn't have been in that situation to begin with. You could tell they were annoyed, after all, guys should be able to go out with their guy friends, or a group of friends without having to deal with these "temptresses," trying to cause trouble

Sigh. . , I used to think that it was guys, more than women who went out looking for those situations. (Those of you who know my history will know why), but now I'm not so sure that's true. And it's not just because of this particular situation. There are other's too.

Like I have this good friend, who had a pretty big crush on another one of my friend's husbands. The two women were friend's themselves, and both married. But the one, was tired with her husband, and started to come on to the other friend's husband, and actually went as far as asking the friend how she'd feel if she slept with her husband. (did you catch all of that) My friend was like WTF! As was everyone else, but she didn't care. She, the one friend didn't care. All she saw was a man who was nice to her and automatically assumed that he wanted to sleep with her.

Then, almost as recently, I knew these two people who worked together. The one man had been in a very serious relationship for about 10 years, and the chick wasn't. The guy is friendly and flirty with everyone, but that's just the way he is. We all saw it as part of his friendly personality. Except for this one girl that was convinced that he was totally into her, despite the fact that he treated her the way he treated everyone else. So, one night, everyone in the group went dancing after work, and she totally started rubbing up and dancing against him in a very provocative way. He would move away, and she would get closer, and you could see he was uncomfortable, but couldn't seem to shake her off. None of us really thought about moving into help him, until she tried to kiss him. He left soon after that, not really knowing how to handle the situation. Eventually, rumor got back to his girlfriend about that night and it became a big to do. Lucky for him, there were enough of us there that night as witnesses that he didn't come on to her, and left when he felt the situation was out of his control, but she almost ruined a completely good relationship, and for what? For a possible night of empty sex?

Seriously, does any woman who breaks up a long term relationship or marriage seriously think that the man will ever take her seriously or as anything more than a piece of ass? Deep Breath.

Here's the thing. We're all human, and we're all at some point in time, going to be physically attracted to other people of the opposite sex (Someone other than the person we're with, or if we're single we might at some point be attracted to someone who's married or in a serious relationship). Unfortunately, that's just the way that life is. But we need to acknowledge that it's nothing more than a physical attraction, and move on. Respect that person and their relationship, and more importantly, respect yourself.

Walk away from trying to land that man as yours, and find yourself someone who can truly love and care for you, and who shall be faithful to you. Not someone who's already taken, who you like just because he's good looking and nice to you. Get it through your head. He's nice to you because he's a nice guy, not because he wants to get laid. Leave him alone, and move on.